How I went from Anxious to Calm in 10 Days
MY BIG PANIC ATTACK IN THE STREET
Just like many others I experience anxiety in ways that are hard to explain and hard to identify! In 2020 I suffered the biggest panic attack I’ve had in my life so far and I decided I had to make a change. The location of the panic attack is quite humorous now but at the moment I felt so embarrassed! I was walking with my husband around our neighborhood talking to him about my health for fertility when my eyes started to water and my throat got tight. He asked me to keep talking and I told him if I did then I wouldn’t be able to stop crying, but that was already on it’s way! A few more steps and I got dizzy; it felt like my world was shifting. I started to sob and explain to him what was wrong, all while there was a sweet little girl learning to ride her bike with her parents just behind us on the sidewalk! I giggle now, but I felt so bad and so embarrassed. I was out in public with people around, and completely unable to control my tears. After a few minutes of crying and walking back home I was able to get undressed and calm down in the shower. It made me aware of how out of control my life had been and see that I needed to be in the drivers seat, not my anxiety!
Anxious to Calm in 10 days
Day 1-2: Recovering from anxiety takes time and effort! My first suggestion will be rest. I took a shower and got ready for bed then laid in bed for about 30 minutes before I decided to go to sleep and make a plan for the next day. I spoke with my husband, Sam, about doing less for work for a month and less around the house for a few weeks. I made peace with myself that this new life wouldn’t look perfect - it helped us both a lot. I created a wellness wheel and numbered each section of my life 1-10 on importance scale. What was shocking to me was how many things were below a 5 in my life. My physical health was a 1 and ironically my mental health was a 3 (I was in denial).
Day 3-5: I told the people I worked with what happened and shared that I would not be doing above and beyond work, and that I would be challenging myself to say no to anything extra for the next month. I needed to figure out what was causing me the most stress so I could determine how to manage it. I went on walks each day with Sam, pulled a few weeds from the garden then went inside for stretching and would sit down to talk about my anxiety or write about it for a designated 30 minutes. Boundaries are key when recovering! Give yourself a timeline and stick to it. It allows you space to breathe, reduces the feeling of it taking over, and shows your brain it needs to properly communicate during that time. I was feeling good on day 4, day 5 was a little uneasy again, but I hung on.
Day 6: This is one of the harder days of any change, I was far enough away from the panic attack that my brain was playing tricks and thinking I was over reacting with my new schedule and boundaries. This introduced some new anxiety - and honestly I just had to tell it to f*ck off. Anxiety is like the flu, it’s just doing it’s job, trying to weaken you - don’t let it. This day I wrote about my body - how I felt that day, how I wanted to feel, and how much I appreciated my body. Writing out affirmations is what saved the day.
I created a user friendly guide of the steps I took (the original was just pen and a notepad for me). I think helping you in the organization process will further support you in this process.
Day 7: I noticed an immediate sense of frustration and fear when I saw it would rain all day, meaning I couldn’t go for a jog. My husband took that as a day off from exercising and my anxiety got the best of my mood. I was clear with my boundary of walking and said it would not be a day off, that I would at least go walking with an umbrella and it would help if he came with me. He did! Being clear with boundaries is key, holding them steady is where the real challenge comes in - you got this!
Day 8: I noticed a shift in my energy and felt a little silly that day. I let myself be silly and chose to dance out the remaining anxiety. I put on a loud Taylor Swift record after work and danced a lot in the living room!
*Special note: Bilateral movement can unlock so much! Your brain likely prefers to live in logic or emotion, and depending on your personality, bilateral movement of the body (walking, dancing, tapping) offers the opportunity to communicate with logic and emotion in balance.*
Day 9: I celebrated that I had gone another 2 days without a major anxiety attack and that my shoulder seemed to feel less tense after my dance session. I kept with the daily routine of body check in mid day, scheduled time to process worry at dinner, practiced affirmations in the mirror (roughly 6 minutes total), and ended the day with a body appreciation time while laying down to drift to sleep.
Day 10: This was not magical by any means, I got a phone call from the doctor that I was confirmed diagnosed with PCOS and I was hormonally on the verge of menopause (at 28). My husband sat next to me and rubbed my back during the phone call. I cried a little out of frustration but told the doctor I was ready for our next in person appointment to make a plan. Even in the midst of hard reality, I was calm.
YOU DESERVE CALM
So many women I meet and am friends with struggle to take time for themselves. I think the older we get and maybe the more mouths we have to feed or are responsible for then the harder it can be to take time for yourself! I imagine as you’ve read this you have had thoughts in your head that interrupted your reading. You have things to do, you’re fine, you don’t have time to ask for help, others won’t understand, others have it together! My fellow sister, those are anxious thoughts! Tell them thoughts bye (sing it to the tune of Beyonce!).
When you are calm you teach others to do the same for themselves. If you have little ones running around, you are teaching them that rest can be fun and joyful, not boring or last minute scarce.
When you are calm, you offer yourself grace and are in turn able to offer others grace
When you are calm, you acknowledge your worth.
YOU ARE WORTHY
If you have thought you are not worthy of calm for a while then I’d like to challenge you to write down why. You can find a lot of truth from within yourself when you write things out. Some other thoughts to journal on would be: Why are others worthy of rest? What qualifies someone as worthy of calm? Journal out your thoughts and don’t stop just because something truthful or a little alarming comes out. Acknowledge it and then challenge it! You are worthy, keep telling yourself that.
DO NOT give up
You got this momma, you got this sister, you got this girl, you got this ma’am, you got this grandma. Do not give up, keep going and use the tools I’ve given you! Share with friends, share with family members, and spread the energy of calm where you can!
High Fives all around,
Becca!