Eating in the New Year
Supporting mental health and saying no to disordered eating
As the New Year begins our culture will, once again, swing into a slew of disordered eating habits. As individuals we may seek this out, and as guardians you may see this in your family members. You may want to encourage them for it, because it’s a change- and that can be good-right? No, please don’t. What we eat and how we move our bodies between New Years and Christmas is far more important than how we did Christmas between New Years. If you ate sugars and felt overly full after Christmas meals- okay! Do not starve yourself for the next few weeks as a result of that. If your children are talking about skipping meals, please do not encourage that. Instead, let’s focus on true health and do it together!
Disordered Eating 101
Disordered eating is not just found among women. While a large percentage of eating disorders are identified by women, men also struggle with this! Disordered eating begins small and can grow into a way of life that becomes unmanageable, pay attention to these physical and emotional signs as a first step!
Emotional:
Being concerned with weight, food, dieting, calories, and exercise to the point that it becomes a primary concern and primary points of conversation
Being concerned and overly critical of body image, body size, a body area, or only telling family members about (assumed) positive body changes
Removing oneself from social media or only posting weight/body updates on social media
Significantly limiting the foods you are allowed to eat and only considering select foods as “safe”
Performing specific food rituals.
Withdrawing from social eating activities.
Feelings of guilt associated with food.
Giving reasons to “make up for food”- restricted eating, excessive exercise, purging.
Physical:
weight fluctuations
chronic fatigue
irritability
Changes in bowel movements/habits
Fainting, feeling dizzy, feeling sick
Changes in menstrual regularity
Calling all cravings!
The truth is that our bodies need food, we need energy to keep going! When we crave big meals, heavy foods, and high sugars- our body is trying to tell us something. Instead of restricting those things and ignoring these signs, try to learn why you are craving those things and in need.
You could have a familial history with craving high sugars during a time of stress- remember having a special trip or dessert associated with a bad day at school? That can help tell you why you do that as adult!
You could be going through a heavier menstrual cycle, don’t cut out the big sugar, instead have a healthier portion and add a high sugar nut and fruit, maybe even honey! (Yes I technically suggested more sugar here, but instead this is sustainable sugar that will last longer and match your energy)
You could be using food to avoid a difficult conversation or life situation
You have been restricting that food and your body is recalling that food hunger
You have gone too long without eating
Nostalgia got you and all you can think about it that food.
Making a change for health
If you have read things and saw yourself in this post or saw your family in this post, take a comfortable breath. Roll your shoulders back and breathe- just because the signs are there does not mean hope is lost. Follow these tips and more throughout the year to help bring the pendulum back to health.
Say something- but do not comment on body type. If you are seeing this from a prospective as a guardian, friend, or support system, calling attention to the behavior will not make it worse, instead it may acknowledge the struggle and allow that person to feel seen again.
Examples:
“I read an article about eating struggles and it brought some habits to mind. I wanted to say if you are struggling with body image right now, I’m here for you and found some ways to support you, could we talk about it?”
“The new year is always a time in our family that we start a big diet, but I wanted to check in this year and ask how does that affect you?”
“As I get older my worry for health grows and I think I have been focusing on body type too much, I’m sorry and I hope we can slow things down to make a conscious choice for health in the family.”
“You are so much more than just a body type, I’m sorry if we have been hyper focused on this, when you’re ready I’d love to hear what is good for you.”
Eat together- Eating together as a family without distractions can be very helpful for us better know our hunger and full cues. If a child says they are not hungry and do not want to eat, then ask them to still sit down and ask questions to the rest of the family. This may be a good time to bring out memories of childhood, funny road trips stories, or tell an embarrassing story. It is okay for the person who chose not to eat to be around the food and watch others eat, it can be helpful for them to see laughter and serious topics be associated with food without guilt or shame.
Bilateral movements- Go for a walk together and take a snack! Take granola, fruit, a sandwich, whatever and walk and eat together. Often times people who have had disordered eating habits longer need help distracting during the eating. Bilateral movements such as walking, taping left and right side of body, dancing with your whole body doing side to side or back and forth movements can help the person be distracted from the shame of eating. This can also help to have difficult conversations. If you find that hard conversations do not go well while sitting down or just standing still then add movement to the conversation, shake things out even if you need to!
Be okay with back and forth progress- Progress is not a straight line, be okay with slow movement and with set backs. They will come and they will go, continue to work. Do not create a new starting line or starting date every time there is a struggle. There is no winning or losing here.
Don’t let the anxious brain stop you- The anxious brain is the part of brain that is irrational! Do not let fear of weight gain stop you, do not let fear of support decreasing stop you, do not let fear of naming the disordered eating stop you! You can do this, health is not a game, it is your life.
Support people!- If you are not going through these things but see people who are need of support, support them! Ask what they need. Encourage people on social media - state you are proud when you are, no matter how many years it has been since you spoke! Show up when a need is identified.
Slow and Steady- Again, this is not a game, this is not a race to health. Health is a lifestyle and continual effort. It will take the time it takes to overcome disordered eating. It will take the time it takes to show body image love. Just keep going.
Boundaries
One final note is to honor your own boundaries and others around you. Setting boundaries is hard and holding on to them is even hard. It takes time, but you can do it! If you notice unhealthy habits in others or within yourself, talk about it and figure it out. Nothing good comes from a shame spiral so go into the conversation with care!
If this post helped you or you learned something, please share with others. If you have more you would like to learn about in the future please comment below or email me. Follow along for more!